And the winners are...

Now the graves have closed again, and the dead of Hallowe'en 2011 are back beneath the earth. While they stalked the land we had a blood-sodden outpouring of entries for our Challenge which was: "Write the first line of Dracula's autobiography." What did I expect and what did I receive? I expected jokes about dental work - and got them. Plots of ground six feet deep also figured, as did crucifixes, the standard "How-do-you-like-your-stake?" Dracula joke and a variety of mirrors. Fangs appeared (though - and thank you all for this - nobody actually had the nerve, the chutzpah, the gall to write "fangs for the memory" or "fangs very much"). The tourist authorities of Transylvania can feel happy at their name-and-place recognition - familiarity even - and we had the graveyard shift, packs of wolves, lines of the Undead and jokey entries about "sinking my teeth into" and "neck and neck." I had already banned the line, "To begin with, I suck" - but I wasn't able to keep sucking out of it - nor, bless you, did you shy away from "cutting my teeth." I loved it all - you are such good sports, you tweeters and blogsters, and I have selected ten winners whose names we publish in alphabetical order. To each of you goes a prize - the Kindle Single I wrote, "Undead," the story of the novel "Dracula" and its author Bram Stoker. Wipe the blood off your chins, read, enjoy, thank you all - and go back to your tombs.

Andrew Train - drewtrain
Not by Man's earthly clocks, do I measure the unending centuries; but by the count of human hearts, stilled by my cold kiss. 

Byron Wilding - estlincage
Words come to me like drops of blood, eager to be tasted.

D H Chitson - BearNecessitude
Please look kindly upon me, dearest reader, for within these unholy epistles there is much sadness amongst the horror.

Doug Keel - DougKeel
Memoirs may be sordid or times of quiet reflection. Mine will have to be the former. 

Emily Matthew - ImaylimE
My father always wanted me to be an attorney, but I could never have become something quite so heinous and parasitic. 

Jessica Reisman - jesswynne
I am not the villain of this piece. 

Joanne E. Valin - Stellectric
I came to know blood, luxurious warmth and bitterness that sang at my lips, but never enough to soothe the rank sore of my heart.

Richard de Nooy - RicharddeNooy
The immortal mark the passage of time with the faces of those whose lives have been lost or taken.

Sean Kelly - SeanKellyStudio
My agent in Burbank sounded glum on the phone, "Universal can't borrow Barrymore from MGM; they're casting Lugosi." 

Vivienne Nichols - jamesblvd
Predators all! Hunters, warriors, vampires, lovers. We create illusion, stalk and steal. We take from life that we might live.

 

 

The Matchmaker of Kenmare Book Trailer

The Marriage Proposal Challenge

The Marriage Proposal Challenge aimed to bring out the best, the worst, the weirdest in your romantic souls. It didn't. We had a ton of entries, and some were excellent, but not enough made the cut to have ten prizes, so I'm only awarding seven lots of chocs and signed copies of The Matchmaker of Kenmare, and I'll eat the other three boxes of chocolates myself!

To be serious: I was puzzled by the entries for this Challenge. Expecting fun, I got edge. Expecting profound and lasting passion, I got wistfulness. Expecting mad, heart-savaging recklessness, I got a kind of "perhaps." As the entries came in, we all looked at them, wrinkling our brows. A moment came when I felt that maybe I had struck a wrong note by setting up the Challenge at all, had trod on too-delicate a ground, or else hadn't made myself clear - because entry after entry hung back. The seven winners did go for it – but only somewhat, as you'll see, and I worried further about what had gone wrong. Over all the entries, I pursued a conclusion along these lines.

Proposing marriage is too serious a business to warrant jokes. Asking someone to marry you is too alarming to be weird about. Going down on one knee and meaning 'til death us do part is too deep to treat lightly. I pushed these thoughts and saw the two camps materialize. For the men who, by and large, are the still the ones who pop the question, the implied responsibility becomes massive, and further confused in the moment by the need - and desire - to appear truly romantic. For the women, the anxiety is differently great: Will he, won't he? Will I be alone for ever? And if he does propose, will he screw it up by falling over, sneezing, throwing up or showing up with flowers that I hate and a ring that I loathe?

In short, proposing marriage occupies an anxious place in life, and that's putting it mildly. But your generous efforts (several of you sent in multiple ideas) startled and illuminated me. Thank you all – again – for being such good sports. Next time I'll keep away from matters of the heart - and from joint finances, which also cropped up a lot!

The Winners!

Winners! Winners! Winners! Chocolates and signed copies of The Matchmaker of Kenmare!! Not ten winners - we chose only seven (see my separate note) and here they are in no particular order, five girls and two boys: Congratulations to you all.

akjames61 Will you take my hand in marriage? You are very welcome to the rest of me too!

ImaylimE Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm awful at poetry, but will you marry me anyway?

lrpresley Marry me, or I'll vote for Palin.

thewritertype What do you say to "for better or for worse"? We both should know better but we both could do worse.

ostawitchestour Play with me, lay with me, forever stay with me; just we two. Bed with me, wed with me, Just like you said we'd be.

rachelforgets My rocketship is built for 2, there's room for me & room for you, please make my starlit dreams come true, Leeloo.

thewritertype You said you wouldn't marry me if I was the last man on earth. But I'm not, so how about it?

The Writer's Life

At the end of the year, I signaled on Twitter that we had, believe it or not, completed a year of daily tweets - 365 Writing Tips. It seems remarkable but it's true! So many readers responded, and so often, and so enthusiastically, that we've decided to continue - but in an expanded form. Instead of simply providing Writing Tips, we'll now call the daily tweet from @FDBytheword "The Writer's Life" and it will, inter alia, be an amalgam of Tips (good and bad!), quotations about writing and creativity,  inspirational moments (or otherwise!) from the lives of writers, anecdotes (in 140 characters) about writing and publishing, "Don't Attempt This At Home" cautionary tales - in short, a rolling ragbag of arresting snippets. all amounting to a daily running commentary, so to speak, on what a writing life is like. I hope it'll be surprising; I don't mean it to be anodyne or bland, but I do mean it, above all, to be instructive. (And to the many of you who have asked whether there will be a book called "365 Writing Tips" - what an excellent idea; watch this space.) The Writer's Life tweets are also intended to help us all lose our fear, and to stand tall and assured in the knowledge that the next book will be the truly brilliant work we've been waiting to produce all along. Join me every day in The Writer's Life, and I hope that you'll smile as often as you wrinkle your brow in thought. Happy 2011!

Publishers Weekly Reviews The Matchmaker of Kenmare

In Delaney's panoramic sequel to Venetia Kelly's Traveling Show, matchmaker Kate Begley plies her profession in neutral WWII Ireland. Into her life come Venetia Kelly narrator Ben MacCarthy, whose wife has gone missing, and Charles Miller, a U.S. intelligence officer who sends Kate and Ben on a secret assignment to France. Upon their return, Kate and Charles marry, but after D-Day, Charles disappears while on a dangerous mission, and Kate enlists Ben's help in finding him. They travel to France and Germany, where they stumble across the German army about to launch its last-gasp assault in the Ardennes and end up questioning the wisdom of remaining neutral in the face of overwhelming evil. An expert at mining Irish lore for congenial fiction, Delaney spins an exciting yarn of romance and intrigue, and, in Kate, he has created an indomitable, unforgettable character. Though the novel's leisurely pace is at odds with the wartime plot (and the subplot about Ben's missing wife will be confusing to those not familiar with the previous book), Delaney wrings the pulp out of a Jack Higgins–like premise and turns it into something more satisfyingly literary. (Feb.)

And The "Santa Baby" Winner is...

It's twelve noon EST and the moment has come to announce the winner of the Santa Challenge. The judging produced complex thoughts, because the Top Ten had many complexities within it. Selecting a winner from this mixed bag required a criterion - how deep and wide must the reach be for the memoir to earn back its advance? I decided that the best memoirists are those who connect most universally; even if their experience is so far out of our own daily (in this case, annual) reach, the autobiography should begin with something that speaks to us all - for good or ill. Given the emotion surrounding Santa, I opted for a deep truth generated by his very existence. For many, the very name "Santa Claus," even the hint of a "ho, ho, ho," or the jingling of a distant sleighbell high up, late at night, brings with it a re-visiting of trauma; perhaps a hurt, glassy tear in the eye; or a bitter, incurable feeling of betrayal. Accordingly the winner is:

PNicholson77
The first lie your parents ever told you, was probably about me.

And once the address is furnished to us, a copy of Dylan Thomas's A Child's Christmas in Wales will be sent; mailmen, or fedex/ups people will deliver it, not faux-jolly little gnarled creatures in green suits. Congratulations, PNicholson - and thank you for a profound, disturbing but searingly honest representation of a man about whom I still feel deeply ambivalent, who wounded me so deeply when I was fifteen.

Starred Kirkus Review for The Matchmaker of Kenmare

Review Date: January 1, 2011
Publication Date: February 8, 2011

"Years after his Irish vaudeville adventures in Venetia Kelly's Traveling Show (2010), 29-year-old Ben McCarthy loses his heart to an eccentrically spunky young matchmaker who keeps him platonically glued to her side as she searches for her missing new husband, an American captain, in war-torn Europe.

"McCarthy, who works for a government folklore commission, is collecting material on matchmakers in Ireland when he meets his match in Kate Begley. Their unusually intimate friendship, which requires them to sleep naked together so they know each other (almost) to the fullest, is well-timed. Ben is haunted by the disappearance of his wife Venetia, a mystery that was never solved. Four years into World War II, known as "The Emergency" in Ireland, a pervasive sense of isolation grips the country, a strategically desirable place for Germany and the United States. After Kate's stolid husband, Capt. Miller, resumes his duties in Europe, and then talks her into going behind German lines on a secret mission, she and Ben find themselves in danger. When military authorities tell her the man known as "Killer Miller" was killed, she refuses to believe it and obsessively pursues him across a span of years and across the Atlantic Ocean—still leading Ben around by the heartstrings. Retrospectively told by Ben to his daughters, this book is a teasing epic punctuated by hints of how much worse things are going to get for the heroine. The resolution of Venetia's disappearance feels tossed off, and the novel ends up in John Irving territory with its cute antics involving zoo animals and oddball characters. As a result, it doesn't take flight as much as it should. But with its memorable characters and variety of adventures, Delaney's brand of Irish fabulism is still a delight to read. The novel burnishes this veteran writer's reputation as a consummate storyteller.

"One of the best fictional wartime couples animates veteran Delaney's darkly wistful novel."

Santa Baby

The entry for our Santa Challenge has now closed, and we have a shortlist. This was the largest entry (#FDsanta) of any challenge so far (note: we have dumped the word “Twallenge” – a neologism that many of you disliked). The first line of Santa's autobiography was also the most difficult to judge because of the high standard. And in many ways it proved the most interesting. Literary contests of any kind can give a tiny snapshot of the society whence the entries come – in which case I can deduce that you are a bunch of people concerned with – here we go: obsession, dancing naked, pedophilia, flatulence and stinks, irony, innocence, revolt against parenthood, myth, morbid thoughts, time travel, emotional pain, juvenile crime, wombs and chimneys, sadism, fetishes with vertically challenged people, blood (and lots of it), job satisfaction (or lack thereof), drinking (mostly sherry), eating (mostly mince pies), canonization, hirsuteness (facial, mainly), obesity, imagination, love. In short, you’re my kind of people – it’s my pleasure to know you all. A few entries came from those nearest and dearest to the Santa Challenge, and sadly we had to eliminate these three:

If I am fake, why is my pain so real? – from Leah, on the Challenge team;

They say that if I don't ride the sun will never rise, and they're only half wrong – from Ben, on the Challenge team;

I see you when you're sleeping. I know when you're awake. Let's just take this step by step, shall we? – from Diane, on every team.

With those entries out of contention the field is clear for the rest, so here, in no particular order, comes the Top Ten – now get working on your lobbies by way of voting with comments. And thank you all for a great set of entries. Happy Christmas and New Year!!

richardhine
I've never thought of myself as a giving person, though I'm told many people see me that way.

 HeidiDavid
Celeste lies in her icy tomb,my child,my pearl. This yearly sleigh ride began for her. If only I still believed it meant something.

HeidiDavid
The world revolves upon my snowy axis. Greedy fools swallowing up tales of reindeer and elves. If only they knew the real story.

Rash3l
The first toy I carved was kept under a floorboard, hidden from my father - a collier with no patience for the fancies of children.
 
PNicholson77
The first lie your parents ever told you, was probably about me.

thewritertype
My analyst says my chimney fixation is all about regression to the womb. I say it's about the mince pies and sherry. 

thewritertype
I got the idea for Santa when I was three. Our butcher was slaughtering a reindeer. I saw this fat old man, covered in blood...

 ACC73
In the beginning of my life's journey, I found myself in a snowy wood, the sleigh-path lost.

philochs76
The truth will unnerve you, for I was never the elf-enslaving, sleigh-driving chimney climber the nog & rum soaked masses wanted.

rachelforgets
I should probably start with the scandal -get it out of the way quickly- the one time I forgot Christmas.

 

Booklist review of The Matchmaker of Kenmare

STARRED REVIEW:
The Matchmaker of Kenmare.
Delaney, Frank (Author), Feb 2011.

Delaney re-earns his reputation for total reader engagement with his latest deeply thought-out novel, which weaves together various strands of the general theme of searching. In memoir format, narrated by a man in old age, the plot finds its provocative place in the WWII years and the immediate postwar years; in substance, it combines the charm of an Irish yarn with the excitement of a political thriller and the romance of a 1940s war movie. Young Ben McCarthy, fulfilling his job with the Irish Folklore Commission, which means taking story-gathering trips around Ireland, one day meets a young woman, Kate Begley, who makes her living as a matchmaker, connecting local unmarried women and men. The encounter is fateful.

She led me into trouble so deep that my own father wouldn’t have found me,” Ben recalls. Although Ben has, in addition to his professional search project, a personal one—looking for his missing wife—he finds Kate so mesmerizing that he accompanies her on a wild adventure taking them from neutral Ireland into hardly neutral continental Europe, first to retrieve for the U.S. Army a German man who has knowledge the Americans want and then to track down the American officer Kate improbably marries, and with whom she promptly loses touch. As artillery guns fire overhead, hearts ache: a compelling combination.